Within My Eclectic Mind

Thoughts. Opinions. Goals. Decisions.

Flirting Etiquette 101: Approaching “The Group”: November 5, 2012

My friends and I were in the local Giant buying raw veggies for our stir-fry & wine for our movie night. As I was looking at the wine display of some “Store Favorites” this man asked one of my girls “Do you know anything about wine?”. I laughed inside my head because I was the one looking at the wines, while she stood there waiting for me. She politely responded “Not much at all.” I then volunteered my expertise expanding wine knowledge to help him. 

What occasion are you buying a bottle?
My mother. It is for her birthday present. She really likes wine.
Oh, really! How sweet. Do you know what kind she likes?
No. Not really.
Does she typically drink reds or whites?
She drinks reds.
Okay, normally people who are red wine drinkers have a more “sophisticated” palate for wines. She would probably prefer at least a medium body wine. So let’s play it safe and aim for one of those. Do you know if she like red blends? I love this one blend, Apothic Red.

So after our dialog, MY our search for Apothic Red began. We started to the wine aisle to look at the store’s entire wine selection. When we got there, the man immediately had the nerve to  doubt my wine selecting abilities. Uhm, excuse me sir, asking Mr. Giant Stock Boy his suggestions about wine will not help you much. This isn’t Whole Foods. He asked the stock person for help, but received bad advice. The super market guy immediately pointed him to fruity, sweet white wines when the man mentioned it was for his mother. Of course, I shot all suggestions down saying “His mother is a red wine drinker, she will probably NOT like any of those Moscatos or Reislings you are suggesting. Have you seen Apothic Red?”

Anywhoot… the man finally found a bottle (based on looks LOL) and asked me what I thought of  the red he selected… a bottle of Mirrasou Merlot. I informed him that Merlot will be a great option because it is medium-body. Unlike Zifandel which is full-body and very dry, Merlot would be a safe choice. I also mentioned the bottle is pretty and sophisticated. He of course responded with “Yeah that’s why I picked it!” LMAO… I digress.

Before throwing a temper tantrum that I still couldn’t find the Apothic Red parting ways, he then turned to my girl to tell her “You are so beautiful! Do you have a boyfriend?” She replied “Yes”. He then said, “Well that’s great. He is lucky.” Then the NINJA had the audacity to turn to my other girl and me and say in an insincere-EX POST FACTO-rushed tone “Oh yeah! You two are both nice looking too. I just couldn’t holla at the whole group.” Walked away saying thanks to me and smiled at our friend.
Men, let me tell you one thing you should need to learn about making a move on one of the ladies in a group. Compliment ONE of us. Get the red or green light from her. Keep it moving.  DO NOT turn to the other women and say any variation of “Oh yeah, you two are cute too.” NINJA I don’t need your over compensation for correcting your ill feelings from not instinctively gravitating toward my looks. NINJA I don’t need your validation of my looks. NINJA I don’t need your sympathy for what falsely-perceived insecurities you think you brought upon me from acknowledging who you thought was the baddest amongst the feminine. What I need you to realize is our physical uniqueness of our bone structure, hair texture, skin color, walk, fashion, and the list goes on. What I need you to realize is our confidence in our looks. We all have our share of men begging for mercy trying their luck to grab our attention and acquire our time. What my girl and I who you insulted with your word vomit because you were being insecure is for you to be confident in what you are attracted to and to not over compensate for feeling as if you dissed the women you did not physically gravitate towards. We all like what we like. No hurt feelings here.

What are some other rules men or women should follow when approaching a person of interest in his or her group of friends? What goes through your mind when someone hits on your friends and then dryly compliments the whole group?


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